Golden Rules for the Beer Hunting Cruiser (2)



OK, it’s obvious and should go without saying.  A cruise ship will not wait for you and if you fail to get back onboard by the nominated time the ship sails without you and you will be required to make your own way to the next port stop.

For most this is pretty obvious, and a huge reason why folk take the ship’s organised excursions as they guarantee to get you back to the ship before it sails.

The point I really make is to be sure you are thinking about this when you are in the beer zone of a day’s sightseeing.  The beery bit for me is usually at the end of hours of trudging around the city’s main sights, the odd museum and standing outside every trashy gift shop on offer.  When you reach the pub an hour or two before the sailaway time, it is very easy to get settled in, ignore the passage of time and lose your bearings when it is time to leave.

A few tricks :

Always make sure you know the directions and how long it will take to get back to the ship.

The featured photo above is of the Kombinat bar/restaurant, 8 Dronningensgate, Kristiansand in South Norway (of which more in future posts).

You can see the blue funnel of P&O Aurora at the end of the street, it’s a stone throw away so an ideal spot for a beer before the ship sails.  However, all is not what it seems.  The ship is the other side of the water.  It is not the 5 minute walk that it might appear.  On my last visit it took me about 15-20 minutes to leg-it back and although I was about 10 minutes inside the curfew, the ship’s staff were calling my name over the loudspeakers to ask whether I had returned without the computer checking off my name.  My wife, who had returned to the ship earlier, was NOT impressed.  It was a close call and a valuable lesson.

Always add  at least 20 minutes extra time to that which you guess it will take to return – then add another 10.

If you take a wrong turning it is easy to become disorientated especially when refreshed.  Last year, I thought I was going to be stuck in Tórshavn, Faroe Isles, Old Town waving goodbye to the ship as I kept losing my way, going round in circles, beer affecting my inner GPS.  Luckily I had left plenty of time that afternoon.

Always drink one beer at a time.  

We (middle aged ) Brits can be a cautious bunch, particularly nervous about using our bank cards to buy simple things like a pint of beer.  As such, in countries where I do not carry currency like Norway, I have a habit of buying a couple at a time so I only have to use the card once.  If you leave it late, have to slug back that extra glass of barley wine or imperial russian stout, it will be swilling around your belly if you have to stride out a bit quicker to get to the ship.

Never take that “one for the road”  

When you are thoroughly enjoying the beer, it is easy to want to sneak in one final one before heading to the ship.  Don’t !  There’s plenty of beer on the ship, you don’t want to be pickled in time for dinner and the 15-20 minutes extra taken to knock back that last one will mean your leisurely stroll back to the ship becomes an energetic canter – any enjoyment is thus lost.

So, there you are.  I don’t want to teach grandmothers to suck eggs.  It’s obvious, don’t miss the ship.   Enjoy a beer or two responsibly, make sure you know the way back to the ship and don’t, for any reason, linger too long – however good the pub or beer may be.

See also Golden Rule #1

Cheers !

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